So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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