I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
