I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
