You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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