I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
