Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
