he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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