He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
