their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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