So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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