when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
