i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
