the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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