Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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