Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Randomize