Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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