spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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