i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
