I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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