6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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