i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
