someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
