You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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