Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I need moral support for this bender
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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