Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize