actually, I'm a sock model
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
