So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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