Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
