My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
