I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
