Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
