Little spoons don't ask big questions
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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