Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
