Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
