Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
