she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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