So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
