What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
