how can u be prego again
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
