how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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