we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
