Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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