New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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