she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
