going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
