More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
