WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
