dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
