dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I want is dick and wine.
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