As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
