I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
