Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
