i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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