its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I did not marry a roomba.
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