i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
