I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry my hands just texted you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
